FINALLY!

So I am finally a second degree black belt. After getting my black belt about 100 years ago in Winnipeg, I have finally moved up a level.

This really should have been done years ago but it just got pushed to the side so I am happy to have finally moved on and look forward to the next test, whenever that may be.

Guess my jerkstore old master didn't have a good enough arguement to fail me. yes!

Favorite comment of the day...

Again, courtesy of Master Cheung:

"Ohhhhh condition, nooooo"


Basically, Sloane you're slow and out of shape. Tae Kwon Do shape anyway.

Uhhhhhh

School Washrooms

Being a spoiled Westerner, and used to toilet paper IN the bathroom stall, locks on doors, hand soap and paper towels I was very disappointed with the bathroom situation at my second school.

Especially since it is only 3 years old but it looks about 10 years old on the inside.

WHY?

Because students "clean" the school. They clean the floors, they clean the bathrooms, they pick up garbage outside etc etc.

I'm sure we all remember what our work ethic was, or still is, when we were 12-16 years old and this is where the problem lies.

To clean the bathrooms the kids run water in the sinks and proceed to throw water on the floor and on the toilets. No smelly, disinfecting bathroom cleaner here. Nope. Who needs it! Isn't water good enough!!
So they just throw it all around and don't really wipe anything down or scrub any toilets.

Soooooo, the toilets themselves are absolutley disgusting. They are grey, no longer white.
Students throw their toilet paper and "other things" in the waste basket instead of the toilet like us whities do thus sometimes leaving the next person to use the bathroom to see what you have left in the waste basket. yum.

The doors MIGHT have a lock on it if you're lucky. Last week I was just undoing my pants as this boy kicked open the door to start his bathroom cleaning duty and there I was. Almost in my underwear.
I was just thankful that I wasn't already in action on the toilet!
That would have been a story for the good old Seventeen magazine most embarresing moments page.
What was it called again?

anyway. They are disgusting and sometimes I walk over to E-Mart and go to the bathroom instead. It is heavenly there. It's clean, paper towels and soap and TP in the stall. Ahhhhhhhh
Everything you need for your bathroom enjoyment.

One more thing that I think is funny.
Most of the bathrooms don't have doors on them so you can obviously see right in.
It's SO nice to walk down the hall and just turn your head at the right moment only to see your boy students standing at the urinal. Right there! I can SEE YOU!!!! And this doesn't bother you!?!?
It bothers me!!!!!

One of my favorite stories is from a friend of mine who works at an Elementary school and said that when he walks by the boys bathroom and of course everyone can see everyone else, that the kids release one hand and wave to him, "HI TEACHER" and then go back to peeing.

Hahhhahahaa!

That's my bathroom rant.

I know, it could be SO much worse, I'm just being a whiny Westerner.

At least it's not a hole in the ground with bugs coming out of it!
That was China!

happy bathrooming!

In Korea I am:

"Berry tall"

"have yellow eyes"

"long body"

"S-line"

"nose big"

"head small"

"face small"

Test-uh

So this past Saturday I tested for the next level of my black belt, second dan.

After many hours of practicing my poom se's, I felt ready! and nervous and excited.

So, Saturday came and we all met at the club to head out for the hour long drive to the test site. I swear the van ride there was more stressful, listening to the 3 boys screaming and beating each other in the back seat! man.

After stopping to ask many locals how to get to the high school where the test was being held, we finally arrived.

This is just me, but shouldn't you know before hand WHERE the site is before heading out? Minor detail, but still.

So everyone outta the van. We get in the gym and there are about 400 kids and some high school students running around in their do-boks getting ready for their test.

My fellow waygook friend Nate (who was along to take pictures and see what the test is all about for when he tests in May) and I were soon spotted and were pointed at many times.

Yes, we're tall. Yes, we're white. Yes, we can learn Tae Kwon Do in Canada. Yes, we learn from Koreans, not whities.

So anyway, we have a big group warm up and listen to many long winded speaches given by important Korean masters.

One master I recognize. It's my old master from the club I trained at for about 4 months when I first arrived in Korea. I ended up leaving his do-jang b/c I felt like I never left work when I went there. Kids everywhere, kicking balls around, screaming, shitty training, chaos, no respect.

It was very frustrating and was not what I was hoping my Tae Kwon Do experience was going to be. Training in the home country of where a sport originated, I expected to be so hard ass and serious. Like what one would expect if they were going to train hockey in Canada.

It turned out to be the complete opposite, at this club anyway, and it was so disappointing. So, I finally left.

The master called my house, he speaks no English and I speak VERY little Korea so this was useless.

He then called my co-teacher at school and asked why I wasn't there anymore.

Since then I have found my new club that I've been training at for the last 6 months and I love it. It's still not as hard ass as I had hoped for, but it's pretty awesome.

That was a long explanation. sorry.

Soooooooo, back to noticing my old master at the test.

La-la-la, I've been getting ready/antsy for my turn for about 2 and half hours now and it's finally my turn.

Ok, here it is. Do us waygooks proud and don't mess up! you can do it whitey!

The way the test is set up is that you go up with the others that are testing for the same level and you do 2 patterns in front of 3 judges and then go to the other side of the gym and do a kicking sequence and spar.

My old master, is judging the patterns. After we finish he, waves me over. Being the big dumb waygook, I'm thinking do I just go to the other side of the gym like I'm supposed to? do I go to him? So I go over to him and he jus starts blabbing in Korean, draws an X in the air at me and tells me NO in Korea. That I can understand. And I can definitely understand his body language. He is not happy.

So a little confused, I go to the other side and finish the rest of the test.

Our crew is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs ready to go but I just wanted to change first.

As I'm coming out of the bathroom, where someone had taken a big runny shit on the floor completely missing the squater, I notice old master yelling at my new master. Uh-oh.

This goes on for a few minutes. It was mostly the old master yelling and pointing at me and making dirty faces.

Turns out he is pissed that left his club and that he didn't know I was training somewhere else, that HE taught me all of my patterns blah blah blah.

Of course it just couldn't go smoothly, there had to be some drama.

So, hopefully he won't have enough power to actually fail me as I completed everything that was asked but I won't know for about a month.

As we're walking back to the van, I look up and of course! who's in my path, but old cranky master, I bowed to him and he just gave me a dirty look and drew another X in the air at me like he was performing an exorcism. "The power of christ compels you waygook!"

So that was my test. Overall, I was happy with my performance but just wish there could have been a bit less drama.

Worst case scenario is I fail and have to retest again in May and hopefully not get X'd!

I found 5 bucks today. It was awesome.

It's Too Late to Apologize

Just like the song says, it's definitely too late to apologize to the woman in the elevator who had to smell the fart I ripped (JUST as the door was closing and she came running in) all the way to the 13th floor.
Just when you thought it was safe to release some harmless gas from all of the healthy vegetables you've been eating!

Favorite quote of yesterday:

So I'm in class with my co-teacher and she starts laughing a bit and says to me:

"That student doesn't think you're pretty, so I said that I would take points away from him for saying that".

Uhh grrrrreat. This falls under the category of things that you DON'T need to tell people!

hahaha

Happy First Day of Spring!

Today was a good day.

The weather is changing and now the sun wakes me up in the morning instead of that evil alarm.

The best part of today was seeing the fat kid with braces at TKD get sacked in the nuts by his buddy who whipped a ball at him.
It was awesome.

Today was also good because I got to leave work at 1:30pm due to parent/teacher interviews and tomorrow will be the same. Yes!

I also LOVE all girls classes at my second school that I go to on Thursdays and Fridays. They rule.
I also loved teaching them the words: barf, vomit and puke instead of the Konglish term Obeit and had them repeat it over and over.

Also awesome.

Hope your first day of spring is good and awesome and full of love!

My favorite quote from yesterday:

"You look weak, but you are strong"

Courtesy of my Master. She thinks I am skinny but secretly strong.

ummmmm ok.

More Bodily Functions

Now, if any of my waygookin friends here in Korea are reading this, you can stop because I know you've seen this many times before here in the Land of the Morning Calm.

As I was walking home from TKD tonight (all the grossness seems to happen to or from TKD), enjoying the lovely weather and the neat looking moon, I see a man on the side of the road where I was walking and he's just standing there.
Recognizing this specific kind of pose, I realize that he is peeing. Yep, just on the side of the street, probably into someones small farm.

What the hell!?!?!??! This isn't the first time I've seen this and I know many other people have too but COME ON!!!!! Who does this!
"oh, I have to pee, the side of the road looks good". You CAN'T wait until you get home or to a bathroom!!! No, I'm gonna go right here and I don't care who sees.

I felt like whipping down my pants and peeing in front of him. I would have to do it out of his pee reach though.
"F-ing Disgusting" I said, of course knowing that he most likely has no idea what I just said but hoping he would recognize the F word.

Korea has sure come a long way in a short time but is still a little primitive in some areas!

Flying Snot

Mmmmmm.

As I was walking up the stairs to go to TKD last night, these 2 dudes come out of the PC room (Internet cafe but really gross and smokey), and the one guy as he walked right past me does a total farmer nose blow.

Full out, one finger on the nostril with a big blow.
I had the pleasure of actually seeing the booger fly out of his nose and onto the floor.

It was textbook. As if he was showing how to do it properly. The form, the torque of the booger, the placement on the floor. Beautiful execution!

Uhhhhh, it was so nasty. You're in a public place! If you're in your own home or yard or outside, ok. It's still gross but more acceptable.

at least I wasn't on my way to dinner I guess.

Finally

So according to my beautiful mother, there are actually a few people that read this and are actually interested in the goings on here in Korea.

It's been so long that I don't even know what to write about!

I guess I can back track.

Christmas wasn't as fun this year as it was last year when Darren came to visit. I was pretty lonely actually but got through it.
New year's wasn't much better and it was cold cold cold!

January and February is vacation time here in Korea for public school teachers. I enjoyed the time off and spent too much money on latte's.
February I head to Canada to see mom and dad for a few weeks and it was beautiful. The weather was great, the air is clean, the food is good. It was great. But now I seem to miss it more than I did before!

I was mom's personal assistant, cleaning everyday and trying to cook something that dad would actually like. Basically if it's not a dead animal and deep fried, he probably won't like it!

On Monday we started back to school. You'd think that after having 2 months to prepare, that the school would be clean, teachers and admin organized etc etc.
No.
Everyone is running around, unorganized, the school is a mess and there I am playing scrabble on facebook.
I remember the first day of school and everyone wearing their cute, new school outfits and the floors sparkling from being waxed. The classrooms being nice and clean and the teachers being excited to welcome you to your new room and grade.
Just another difference here in Korea.

Another welcome I got this first week was food poisoning from the school barfeteria.
To make the new Korean teachers think that I actually like Korean food and for the hope that the soup would not have meat in it, I ate at the cafeteria for 2 of the 3 days I was at my boys school.
On Wednesday, I actually enjoyed the lunch. Rice had some veggies and something else in it and was very tasty.
Later that night my appetite was gone, very unusual for me, and my tummy was feeling a little funky. I hoped that some Tums and going to bed early would cure it.

Within an hour of laying down I was in the bathroom and barfest 2008 began. Damn it I thought! My barf record has ended. I haven't puked in years! now I have to start over again.
This went on allllllll night and when I checked the garbage can the next day, it was that yummy rice dish I had eaten at school. Mmmmmmmmmmm

Thursday and Friday I go to a different school but I was obviously unable to go this week due to bathroom party I was attending.
The best part is, that nobody even phoned me to see where I was! hahahaa

So that is the update of what's going on here in Mokpo.